A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. —Joyce Brothers
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. —HL Mencken
Before you marry a person, you should make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. —Author unknown
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. —Author unknown
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. —Mark Twain
I can resist everything except temptation. —Oscar Wilde
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. —Isaac Asimov
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage; they’ve experienced pain and have bought jewelry. —Rita Rudner
My wife had us register for fine china because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate. —Author unknown.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits. —Mark Twain
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